html> i eat gr[ass] sometimes

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

pizza:

my favourite thing to do in the holidays is fuck up my sleeping pattern as much as possible

phillestersliongirl:

lukecastellaning:

I’m waiting until they start making romance movies about douchebags falling in love with nerdy girls and having to give up their swag for love

image

missespeon:

my brain: there is literaly a 0 percent chance the fictional shit from creepy games will show up irl in your kitchen

me: but its dark and scary